The Messenger - The Key to Lasting Happiness

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Tuesday, 07 October 2008

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The Key to Lasting Happiness

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Written by Deepak Chopra

...more important
than a positive mind
is a silent mind.

Behind the curtain of your intellect and emotions is your self-image or ego. The ego is not your real self; it is the image of yourself you have built over time. And because it is not the real you, but a fraud, it lives in fear. It wants approval and needs to control.

The ego is the prison you have built around yourself, and now it holds you captive. Any time you feel discomfort in your body, your ego, is overshadowing your inner self. Fear, doubt, worry, and concern are some of the energies associated with your ego. And how do you break free from captivity? You break free by choosing to identify with your inner self, the real you.

You break free when you feel neither beneath, nor superior to anyone, when you shed the need to control other people, when you no longer use stereotypes or harbor extreme likes or dislikes toward people you hardly know. You break free when you refuse to follow the impulses of anger and fear, when your speech is nurturing rather than scathing, when you choose to express only your love.

You break free when you surrender to the moment, to what is, and trust that the universe is on your side, when you let go of grievances and choose to forgive.

Grievances are the melodrama of the ego that overshadows the spirit. When you relinquish all grievances, you truly break free and find your soul. The soul is the source of creativity, understanding, peace, harmony, laughter, and all possibilities. It is a place of stillness, which is beyond labels. But as soon as we use labels—good or bad —we create an image that overshadows the inner self. Without those labels, we are the free spirit and the free flow of the universe.

The world of the ego is time-bound, temporary, fearful, self-centered, and attached to the known. It clings to pleasure and recoils from pain. The world of spirit is timeless and eternal, joyful, undivided, unshakable, dynamic, creative, powerful, and free of every limitation. The world of spirit is the source of all power. What the world calls power is really fear that leads to manipulation and control of others, which in turn leads to violence and suffering. Real power is the power to create, the power to transform, the power to love and to heal, and the power to be free. Real power comes from our connection to our deepest self, to what is real. That is why powerful people are self-referred, not object-referred. These two terms need a further explanation.

Object-referral means we identify with our ego image or objects of our experience to understand ourselves. These objects can be situations, circumstances, people, or things. If our identity is tied to these people or things, then life is always going to be unstable, because everything is constantly changing.

The opposite of object-referral is self-referral. When we are self-referred, we identify with our inner self, the unchanging essence of our soul. We feel wonderful regardless of the situation we are in, because we don’t identify with the situation. We are the detached, silent witness of the situation. Self-referral is an internal state of joy. And inner joy is independent of the situation, circumstances, people, or things. When you experience inner joy, you are happy for no reason. Just to be alive to experience the beauty of this world is your happiness.

Everything in life is changing; that is the nature of our world. But when you are self-referred, you enjoy the change instead of resisting it. You don’t need to look positively or negatively at a difficult situation.

What is a positive mind? It’s an interpretation. What is a negative mind? It’s also an interpretation. Both a positive mind and a negative mind can be a turbulent mind, and can switch to the other very quickly. Love can transform into jealousy in the twinkling of an eye. So, more important than a positive mind is a silent mind––silent, nonjudgmental, nonanalytical, noninterpretive mind. In the process of this silent witnessing, we experience inner silence. In the purity of silence, we feel connected to our source and to everything. In silence, inner energies spontaneously wake up and bring about the appropriate transformation for every situation.

Joy and sorrow, happiness and suffering, are the play of opposites. Spirit, the essential you, is independent of the play of opposites; it dwells in the silent bliss of the eternal. When you truly know who you are, you are living from your source, which is bliss. The key to happiness is to stop looking for it, and to know you already have it. That knowing is your source, and it is magical, holy, joyful, and free.

Excerpt from Power, Freedom, & Grace: Living from the Source of Lasting Happiness Published by Permission of Amber-Allen Publishing, Inc., San Rafael © 2006 by Deepak Chopra

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