Most responses to emotional chaos in our culture suggest armoring––you defend yourself against events in the world through putting on armor––and that you armor yourself from inside by detaching yourself from your emotions...
"..But poetry, lyric poetry, goes in the opposite directions. It says 'open yourself, be vulnerable, let the strange angels in.' And these are strange angels, they're not like little winged cherubim, they're spooky! We don't know what they're about...they're messengers." ––Charles Maynard
"Make yourself vulnerable––let the strange angels into your consciousness, into the space that is your life."––D.H. Lawrence's poem, The Song of a Man Who has Come Through
Strange Angels know who you are and what you are capable of becoming and doing. They are "spooky," because they are here to prod you out of that comfortable, numbing rut you have dug for youself––pushing into unknown arenas of your life.
They are reminders of your secret dreams, of taking that which dwells within your heart––within your soul––and giving birth to it by bringing it out into the light of day.
They will keep mirroring your blocks and your challenges to that ideal, until you get the idea––until you are ready to drop the blocks and take that leap of consciousness into the unknown, trusting that what has pushed you, will be there to direct you.
We came in with a subtle knowing, then spent years armoring ourselves from it. We walk about detached from much of life which surounds us. And we are most detached from our own emotions––our own need to feel and be kind, gentle and loving with ourselves. We abhor time alone and fill it with tv, reading, eating, working out, drugs, smoking––a myriad of distractions to keep from dealing with our own feelings.
Meditation is a name given to one practice that puts us back in touch with ourselves, with our breathing, with our inner place of peace, with the chaos which keeps trying to enter in.
One method is to go down into your heart to ask for any part of you that has been abandoned along your path in life––to come forward. That aspect of you may be a child, teen or adult, but each share in common the circumstance of being abandoned at some point in your life. It reflects some point when you did not claim who you were and left that part of you detached and cut off from the rest. As you discover these parts and spend time with them, you reclaim pieces of your own emotional life. These parts can help teach you how to better love yourself, by being kind and gentle to YOU.
As you work with accepting and loving these abandoned pieces of self, your heart will expand to help you make more loving choices.
If you find yourself in negative mind loops during the day, thoughts which go round and round and make you irritated over some incident or at someone for their choices or actions––step back, take three slow deep breaths, go into your heart and let go of the negative loop you have been putting yourself through. These loops are ways we take ourselves out of the present moment trying to protect our hearts by not being fully present to whatever is going on around or within us. But in that old pattern of protection, we keep loosing the present and parts of ourselves who are attempting to be alive HERE and NOW.
We don't have to assault ourselves with mind pictures of sadness, hurt, anger, and judgement. We can choose to let those go and replace them each time they come up with a more loving thought or picture. Prepare yourself...think of some of your favorite thoughts and mind pictures to bring up, when you need to do a replacement. Then they will be ready and waiting for the changes. And so will you.
Blessings, Joann Turner