Letting go of the Great Expectations in our lives
What patterns in your life revolve around you “knowing” how things “should” go and then when they don’t, you are sad, mad, irritated, angry, hurt, disappointed...
Because, some how, “they, he, she, or it” did not respond or react, the way you had already anticipated they would––they ruined the day for you! Wow! Why would we give that kind of power to another--to ruin our day? Also, in taking this mind set, we inadvertently close ourselves off to anyway of saving the day from ruination. It’s like a sad little set-up we do to ourselves––a pattern we live over and over again, until at some point, we stop, look around and realize what we have been doing to ourselves.
Look back over your holidays...your relationships...your day-to-day occurrences... how many times have you felt less than joy? Had you pre-planned the day or event in your head, only to have others or the event itself, take a different turn?
We have all heard the term “Living in the Now.” And Ram Das’ “Be Here Now.” You ask “Where else could we be, but here?” I answer, “Much of the time we live in our minds...in worlds no one else can enter, with a cast of characters we have developed since childhood. I’m not talking about schizophrenics and split personalities. I’m talking about each of us “normal” people who have a mother, father or other voices in our heads telling us that we, or the person in front of us, didn’t do it right; that someone is out to get us; that we could never be good enough, and on and on...
Most of time we are hardly aware of these voices...they have been with us forever, developing as people come into and out of our lives with their strong opinions...each leaving a mark--a voice--in our head.
Next time you have a few minutes, step back and view those internal exchanges. Try not to get caught up in their drama and the loops they take us through (a loop is when we play the same conversation over and over, either changing subtly how we should have responded to another or, each time the loop plays, we become more and more upset over what occurred and some how never finish with it.) What tone of voice encourages self-deprecation? Is there a voice that is supportive of you or your actions? How does each of these voices make you feel? Do you want to continue listening to their melodrama...making your life into a roller coaster ride...with an accompanying low for every high?
When we begin to take notice of these voices and accompanying patterns, we get our first look at real choice. There comes a moment when we see the pattern and are able to choose not to go with it...to do something different. As we let go of these old patterns...choosing instead to live in the present...we also let go of the heavy feeling that accompanied those choices...those states of being.
Living in the present is not just a nice thing to do, or an enlightened thing to do...it is a method for bringing more joy into our lives. When we choose to let life unfold as it sees fit, without judgement or pre-determining an outcome, we make ourselves available for the Universe to work gracefully in our lives to bring opportunities for synchronistic meetings and occurrences to us. The Universe does not have to drag us screaming with arms flailing to a “beneficial” meeting or experience.
So, it is not that you can’t plan anything, just be open to changes...make the plans loose and flexible to allow for the magic that is waiting to happen.
Love & Blessings,