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I Forgive Myself for Past Foolisheness - A letter to my K-12 classmates

Written by  Janet Florence McCormack

It's gonna upset some people reading this, but I AM done with the double-minded, denial doin's of humanity. Including my own! I refuse to sit back and silently watch myself and others make choices that support the self-destructive systems we use to perpetuate our Culture of Comfort and Convenience! That culture is one of seductive illusion and slavery to a system of technological oligarchy. If you don’t know what that means look it up, this is what our better K-12 teachers would have told us to do. 

I forgive myself for past foolishness and declare that I will seek healthier alternatives, even though they are very difficult to find without becoming a transient hobo or hermit in some carefully selected cave! And I forgive others for their ignorance and foolishness. But to create change forgiveness requires that we learn the lessons involved and be grateful for those opportunities, doesn’t it?

I  AM grateful for the unique life process of awareness I’ve been given. That process began back in third grade when I realized how many of my classmates were struggling and suffering while I was comfortably and securely living in a very loving and affluent home. Then in eighth grade some of us explored photos from a Mound City Library book revealing the horrors of Hitler’s Holocaust. That was followed in tenth grade with newsreel footage of the nuclear bombing of Hiroshima and Nagasaki. From that point on I have struggled with being in the body of a species that has so little respect for the natural world and so much pride and fear that it would develop a technology capable of destroying this glorious planet! 

Since when are any of us so pure and loving that harming someone else is justified? Choosing harm is a fine example of how humans rationalize, deny responsibility, play THE BLAME GAME, and live in the duality of double-mindedness or hypocrisy. As human diversity continues to expand the time has arrived for humans to cease repeating history. This requires developing individual personal single-minded integrity as we transform human systems to accommodate our increasing  differences with tolerance and love. 

As some of you know, after high school graduation I went from neurological burn out and suicidal depression to a spiritual awakening while meditating atop one of the Loess Mounds south of Mound City. Awakened to a dimension of reality that had been blocked by typical cultural programming, I didn’t know what to do with the vision I saw of The New Jerusalem rising out of Squaw Creek National Wildlife Refuge. Then I developed strong pro-peace convictions and had “automatic writing” messages from God. My reality had expanded naturally without illicit drugs. But unlike many other people I have met who have similar experiences, I let people know about them. I believed in the truth of my experience. I still trusted myself. But that would all change. 

Because I was acting strange people did what people do so often. They responded in fear and made choices of power and control. Fear and love are opposites, aren’t they? People taught me to be afraid of myself, especially if I had the desire to be different and follow my deepest inner guidance. 

By accepting their teachings of fear, insecurity and other prideful behavioral guidelines, I’ve endured decades of ignorance and abuse by allopathic medicine! I have forgiven but not forgotten the five nurses and orderlies who wrestled me to a hospital floor because I was trying to walk off the discomfort from a tranquilizer making me hyperactive instead of lethargic. Those “healers” stuck a hypo in my hip, bound me in a straight jacket and strapped me to a bare steel table in solitary confinement for several days. When the over fifty electroshock treatments didn’t keep me compliant enough those “healers” tried putting me in a diabetic coma. Fortunately my parents were smart enough to rescue me from the damage of Insulin Shock treatments. But that only led to Federal Drug Administration trials of Lithium Carbonate which years later left me with kidneys too damaged to effectively filter all the toxins humans continue to spread everywhere in this world. 

Fast forward past:

  • my two unsuccessful marriages producing no progeny
  • my advanced education with so many degrees, certificates, and licenses I’ve lost count 
  • my failed attempts at entrepreneurship with a 2009 bankruptcy and loss of owning any personal transportation device other than those attached to my body 
  • my experiences in various parts of the world with extensive human diversity and varied natural environments 

The time has come for me to choose to speak out again and take definitive action against the status quo of my culture. 

Today I updated my affiliation with two global activities: The Ringing Cedars Revolution and The Zeitgeist Movement. These are the only two human activities I have found so far that are clearly offering Healthy Buzz alternatives to the culture of comfort and convenience and self-destruction that humans have been perpetuating. (Healthy Buzz is human energy and choices producing enduring and mutually beneficial results for all life.) 

Don't bother talking to me about impossibilities, peace is a pipe dream, or any of the other cynical, foolish, or down right irresponsible arguments I've received over the years. The time has come for each individual human being to awaken to the consequences of his/her individual, spiritual, personal and collective choices. People, we have been on a path of self-destruction for many millennia. PRIDE and FEAR in their many forms seem to be at the core of the human condition that is driving this self-destructive path. 

If you are courageous enough to agree to disagree, I welcome dialogue. The best way is to e-mail me at jmcc0000@yahoo.com.

Yes, I realize that even using the internet, computers, and cell phones is participating in the same self-destructive systems I’m fed up with. Our technologies require digging up minerals from Mother Earth leaving pollution behind. I just spent the last five years living amidst the mines of southern Arizona. Who knows what areas and people have been harmed from the production, purchase, use, and trashing of all the other stuff I’ve used during my 64 years on this planet. I am aware that even the electricity I am using is from unhealthy and unsustainable sources! 

Awareness being the first step toward change, I am being the change I want to see. It is a huge change, therefore to reduce its harmfulness it will be slow and gradual. That is unless forces beyond human knowledge and influence materialize.

Some people reading this may be aware of such unpredictable forces currently materializing. We are approaching more humans than ever before simultaneously on Earth expressing their individual and collective energies (seven billion between October, 2011 and March, 2012 according to the UN and USA researchers). Earth’s Sun is in a very active cycle and its planets are aligning in ways not experienced for many thousands of years. Comet Elenin is due to enter our realm September 1 according to the most objective information I’ve seen so far at http://yowusa.com/radio/elenin/elenin.shtml We are still trying to validate information about Planet X that might follow the comet. 

And, for those of you believing in SALVATION WITH THE RETURN OF JESUS CHRIST, THE FINAL DAYS OF JUDGMENT or other rapturous and doomsday stories humans use to frame everyday decisions and deny their consequences … perhaps hoping you will be one of the SELECT or CHOSEN ONES to live in eternal paradise, tell me this. What happened to the purpose of human life in the first place? 

Aren’t all humans appearing here on Earth to learn to love unconditionally, to experience life in a material existence, and restore heaven on Earth? But that subject better wait for another essay where I can talk about quantum physics, my out of body experiences, and my belief that death is just another human illusion and story used by the technocratic oligarchy to prevent us from using our incredible powers as “Children of God”, unique creations of whatever name you give to the life-producing force of this universe.

Information addressing some of the issues mentioned are at www.TheStoryOfStuff.com 

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