I just read something that made me stop and take stock. I have always been a rather joyful, somewhat carefree individual. Of late; however, I have become very heavy in my feeling nature and as this is not a familiar place for me, it has been wreaking havoc. I am painfully aware that I have stopped playing. I have stopped enjoying the little things. For instance, until three years ago, I regularly enjoyed a great evening of water bumper cars, go carts and miniature golf – to say nothing of a full day at Magic Mountain (mid-week, of course). I absolutely love roller coasters!  There is no such thing for me as too high or too fast!  When did I let my guard down?  When did I become this serious, joy-less person?  How could this have happened to me – a virtual female Peter Pan?

Well, here I am, many moons later, thinking about that day when I almost started my last journey. What led up to my decision to fly off the mountain that day when the wind was not quite right has been a source of reflection for the last 36 years. Finally, at the ripe age of 72, I have enough understanding to write about it.

Two days before that fateful day, I had a great flight. December 28, 1974 was a good day. My friend John and I hiked down to our favorite take-off spot on the south side of Mt. Lukins.

In my last article, I began to talk about compromise and what happens to us when we embark upon that long road that has no real ending, only beginnings. My own particular journey in this regard has been long and painful. I chose for my soul core makeup in this reality to express the ego persona of a female with a masculine gender vibration. This has created quite an interesting complexity for my psyche reconciliation. 

This is the first in a series of articles on moving through emotional blackmail during our journey into self-awareness and psychic reconnection.  Our life expression challenge, should we choose to accept it, is to learn to work with and incorporate all aspects of our multi-dimensional Self into a complex, yet harmoniously working collective. 

The power to fulfill our dreams is within each of us. We alone have the responsibility to shape our lives. When we understand this, we know that nothing, and no one, can deny us greatness. We are the ones pushing ourselves forward or holding ourselves back. The power to succeed or fail is ours alone. --Unknown