The Way is in the Unknowing.*

Some of us have the courage to free ourselves from blind, ignorant unquestioning loyalty to long-held identity-entangled beliefs, and, to stare into the vast abyss of uncertainty which consequently unfolds before us. For me the unraveling began with a belief that God wanted to be known, and would allow me to ask any question I wanted, to explore any path I chose, even if it meant questioning his existence in the pursuit of knowing him personally, deeply, intimately. I could struggle and argue with God, in the tradition of Old Testament prophets like Jeremiah. If God were God indeed, he would withstand the assault of my scrutiny. He would never abandon me. I could leap into the Void, not as a test, but as a yearning to know the truth of him, and he would catch me in his arms. 

Have you noticed how hard it is to change? Especially at the beginning of a New Year. After all the emotional turbulence of Christmas, happy or not, plus the realisation of last years resolutions not accompanying you thus far.....

We are conditioned by our past, that is the real reason we find it so hard to change! I come with a country background and we knew that once the fox got into the chicken house, he would come back and kill again and again, until he was killed.

 Let’s talk for just a minute about people who are doers in they’re lives and those who are don’ters. Or should we say someone who does, and someone who doesn’t. There really is a big difference between the two. 

Sometimes just telling someone that they are a doer or that somebody is a don’t er just isn’t enough. Sometimes it’s too hard for someone who is a don’t to try to do. And the funny thing is about those who always do, they really do all the time.

It was a chilly May morning in 2009 and I took several, very deep breaths and let them go—not the breaths—but several pieces of furniture birthed during my previous life of wife for 33 years. 

There I stood in the middle of the yard sale, wearing the artfully painted smile of a recovering Stepford Wife, dispassionately watching as uncaring strangers poked, prodded and pack away belongings left over from my painstakingly crafted, failed fantasy marriage. I waved goodbye and wished my old friends, Cuisinart (™), Capodimante (™) and carved rice bed, well as they waltzed away down the driveway with new partners.