It's like we have a template inside us that lights up when we find someone attractive. It draws us in like a magnet. And it says -- "Ahh, this is what I've been looking for." "This is what I want." This template is made up of all the relationships from our childhood and other important people in our lives.
So, if you had good family relationships. You'll most likely have chemistry with people who will treat you right. Because you choose people based on your relationship template. And good for you.
The problem comes, when you've had less than great relationships in the past. You may have chemistry with people who remind you of those past relationships. Even though you don't want to repeat those relationship patterns, your template still lights up when you come across people that fit that relationship template. Something about them may feel familiar or attractive. And it's hard to choose someone that you don't feel attracted to. (That's also why they drive us so crazy later on! Because they're reminding us of someone from the past.)
But, the secret is -- you can have passion, without initial chemistry. And passion can be even better! Because, it's based on a real relationship with your partner. It's not chemistry, because they remind you of someone from the past. And it's not going to wear off once you get to know them.
I'd love to hear how you feel about chemistry and passion. To share your Comments, just go to www.VondieBlog.com.
And as always ... Remember to take good care of you,
p.s. Join us the first Saturday of every month to discover how to Find and Keep a Good Relationship! (3:00 – 4:30 p.m., Village Book Shop, 123 N. Glendora Ave., Glendora, $10 at the door.) For more information, go to www.VondieCounseling.com and click on the link for Upcoming Events. Can’t wait to see you there!
Every individual and situation is different. The information presented here is general and educational. It is intended for educational purposes only and is not intended to be, nor should it be considered to be a substitute for consultation with a qualified mental health professional that is familiar with your particular situation. There is also no guarantee being made as a result of information provided or counseling services offered.