We all have different comfort zones when it comes to closeness.  But, during stressful times, these differences become even stronger.  Some people need more closeness than usual.  And others may need time to themselves.  So, when there’s stress in your relationship, you might need more reassurance and closeness.  And they might need more space.       

It’s normal to want to reconnect, when you and your partner are going through a tough time.  But, that’s when they may pull away.  They need time to themselves.  And, the more you try to get close, the more they may need to get away.  It’s not that they don’t love you or need you.  They just feel overwhelmed. 

So, how do you get through those times?

• When your partner can’t be there for you, it’s good to have friends and others you can reach out to for support.  That way, you can get some of what you need.  And you’ll be less likely to overwhelm your partner.    

• If your partner needs space, try to give it to them.  When there’s space in the relationship, it allows them room to come back to you.  It will also show that you care about them and respect their needs. 

And remember, no relationship’s perfect.  And it’s normal to go through stressful times.  The key is how you handle those times.  And how you find your way back to each other.   



This article is written by Dr.Vondie Lozano.  Join her the 1st Saturday of every month, 3:00 – 4:30 p.m. to discover How to Find and Keep a Good Relationship  (Village Book Shop, 123 N. Glendora Avenue, Glendora, $10 at the door)  For more information, call (626) 215-2527 or go to:  www.GlendoraRelationshipCounselor.com  Singles and Couples Welcome!

Every individual and situation is different.  The information presented here is general and educational.  It is intended for educational purposes only and is not intended to be, nor should it be considered to be a substitute for consultation with a qualified mental health professional that is familiar with your particular situation.  There is also no guarantee being made as a result of information provided or counseling services offered.