Your six-year-old has just seen video footage of devastating destruction including collapsed buildings, crushed cars, and homes under water, all vivid images resulting from the recent earthquake and tsunami in Japan. Your teen sits transfixed watching the numbers of dead and injured mount. At the dinner table your fifth grader asks, "Can anything like that happen to us, Dad?"
Twenty-four art students sat waiting for the teacher to begin the first day of instruction in drawing class. The teacher briefly told the students what they could expect during the semester. With the expectations clearly communicated, he then did the unexpected.
Mr. Smith is like a lot of teachers who are Spirit Whisperers. He doesn't make loud or long statements at staff meetings, but works quietly in his high school making a difference in the lives of students one day, one child at a time.
One important function of families is that of support and encouragement without judging, evaluating, rating and ranking the efforts of one another.
Sara spent an hour one Saturday afternoon tossing a small beach ball at a plastic basketball hoop her fatherhad brought home from a garage sale. Her first efforts missed the hoop by several feet. None of them hit the backboard. Her father stood by, retrieving each shot and returning the ball to her for another attempt. He also made descriptive comments after each shot. His Parent Talk was deliberate and focused. He gave supportive comments that were limited to describing what happened.
What Is It, Who Has It, and How to Get It
First, realize that although each of the following children are all bright, they have not developed the emotional skills necessary for success in these life situations. Such skills, many of which we often take for granted, thankfully can be taught, and have most recently been coined emotional intelligence (EQ) by Daniel Goleman in his best-selling book Emotional Intelligence: Why It Can Matter More Than IQ.
Many of our thoughts about parenting are outdated. Used by others before us, they have been passed on as worn-out hand-me-downs that no longer fit the time, the place, or us as uncommon parents.
Have you noticed more than a hint of anger creeping into your parenting style? Do you parent more with your vocal chords than with your heart? Then, you may need the gift of grace-full parenting. It holds children in a state of grace, even as they are held accountable for their behaviors. It communicates love and caring while simultaneously implementing the discipline strategies called for.â€¨â€¨
Not many parents set out to raise a thirty-year-old Nintendo player who sprawls on the couch all day sucking up pizza and diet Pepsi. Yet many parents actually subvert their positive intention of raising responsible, confident, fully functioning children. They do it by unconsciously using Parent Talk that allows and encourages helplessness.
Are you at all interested in raising a thirty-year-old Nintendo player who lies around your house all day eating cold pizza and sucking up Diet Pepsi? Probably not. If you’re like many of the parents who attend our parenting workshops, creating a thirty-year-old video game player is not high on your list of parenting goals. You are probably more interested in raising a responsible, caring, conscious youngster who, somewhere between the ages of eighteen and twenty-five, is capable of leaving home and living successfully on his or her own.
A parent can gain all kinds of information from inner and outer sources regarding the multidimensional aspects of their children and yet when it boils right down to it, unless that information makes their daily interaction with that child more conscious, then maybe it wasn’t really that helpful.