"You got close to the backboard."
"You almost hit it that time."
"Wow, only a foot away."
"You got it on the rim."
"Wow, a two-bouncer. It hit the rim twice."
When the ninth attempt went through the hoop, he exclaimed, "You did it! You got it in." Sara immediately ran to find her mother. "Mommy, Mommy, I did it. I got it in the hole," she excitedly informed her mother. "You sound so excited!" her mother replied.
Notice that evaluative praise was not present in the Parent Talk of either of Sara's parents. No one said "Good job," "Excellent," or "Wonderful." By keeping evaluative praise out of their verbal responses, they left room for the child to draw the conclusion. They allowed their child to make the evaluation.
One important function of families is that of support and encouragement without judging, evaluating, rating and ranking the efforts of one another.
Chick Moorman and Thomas Haller are the authors of The 10 Commitments: Parenting with Purpose. They also publish a FREE email newsletter for parents and another for educators. Subscribe to them when you visit, www.chickmoorman.com or www.thomashaller.com. Chick Moorman and Thomas Haller are two of the world’s foremost authorities on raising responsible, caring, confident children. For more information about how they can help you or your group meet your parenting needs, visit their websites today.