What if there was no one out there to give us any information about our children? What if there were no labels to describe and no checklist of characteristics to consider? This is all really a trial and error experience, anyway. Not unlike the one our parents experienced as they tried to raise us. We may be more conscious and more aware of various levels of functioning, but if we are simply judging ourselves by new and more aware standards, then it seems we may be missing something important.
What if all there was, was the interaction between the parent and the child? Where would that take us? I still feel that our children are here to bring awareness and healing to those whom they encounter, but those they encounter also offer healing and awareness to our children. This is a two-way street. We are in relationship with these children and, yes, they are gifted, yes, they are unique and, yes, they are aware, but let us also remember that we are all gifted, unique and aware to a greater degree than we once were.
The basic law of the universe, the law of attraction, dictates that like energy attracts like energy. Even as the vibration of our planet is increasing, we still by law call out for certain relationships to gain inner awareness. What better way to grow in awareness of self than through the gift of a child? The parent/child relationship is by far one of the most profound relationships we experience in life.
Maybe it is the energy of the relationship that more accurately holds those characteristics.
One is not always the giver and the other the taker. Relationships are always about giving and receiving, ebbing and flowing, and allowing both. We are gifting our children with awareness as well receiving it back from them. Our empowerment comes by staying in our awareness of self.
When this giving and taking is working, our relationships are smooth and there is mutual appreciation. When these relationships are difficult and bring about pain, there are some adjustments to be made. Discomfort appears simply as a signal that an awareness adjustment is needed. The wonderful thing about this discomfort is that as soon as the appropriate awareness has been reached the problem ceases to exist.
Let me give you an example: About three and a half years ago, I was newly divorced and had just moved from Maine to Arizona. I had my two youngest children living with me and the two eldest lived with their father. Day in and day out for about two weeks, the two living with me would fight and yell and come to me to resolve the conflict. I was really getting agitated by the constant bickering and I went into a bit of guilt about having divorced, thinking maybe they would be better adjusted if I was still married. (That thought was more annoying however, than listening to them bicker…so I decided to step back and listen to them) One of the girls was basically saying, “oh poor me, you don’t love me. Why won’t you play with me?” The other was saying, “I’m not listening to anything you say and you can’t make me do anything I don’t want to do. I don’t have to love you”
As I listened, it occurred to me that they were representing two parts of me that were arguing. One child was reflecting my “poor me” side and the other was reflecting the “no one can tell me what to do” side. When I could acknowledge that they were reflecting me arguing with me, when that awareness was conscious, they stopped. The very next day they were best friends again. Perfectly fine!
Since that time, I have loved using my relationships with others, especially my children, as a way to bring self awareness. It kind of became a game, which at the best of times helps me see the conflict as a gift and at the worst of times has me calling for a sitter and a big space between them and me.
One of the major gains that I have noticed over the last several years is that as our children become more conscious and as our relationships with our children become more conscious, we are all gaining awareness without the need for so much discomfort.
As parents become more authentic, children have the capacity to remain true to themselves, and as the children remain more authentic, they raise the bar again on the parent’s awareness of self. The cycle goes on and on until the day comes when we have a highly conscious society, where all beings co-journey in mutual respect and understanding of the growth potential available just by enjoying each other’s company.
I never much liked the idea of being here on this earth to learn lessons, but I do like the idea of being here to have the opportunity to gain more conscious awareness of self. It is clear that we are now in this beautiful cycle of expanded consciousness. As the children are more conscious, they more clearly reflect the issues at hand and as the parents are more conscious, they more clearly engage with the issues at hand.
Parents, please do not assume for even a moment that your children are reflecting your “issues” only. This works both ways. Remember, in relationships this is a two-way street. You can always tell whom awareness has the potential to be gifted to, by whom is having the biggest reaction to the exchange. In other words, whomever is reacting has the potential to gain awareness in the exchange.
The ability to self -reflect comes in strong here. Most children have not been taught this skill. Some come in knowing it and some need to be taught this by a caring adult. Likewise, there are still many adults that never learned this skill; therefore, they are sent children that may cause them to reflect.
No matter who is offering what to whom, you can be sure that the universe has brought about a perfect match and the universe could care less about who is gaining awareness and who is offering it in any given situation. The situation is simply perfect for awareness to occur.
Just like everything else, there is a vast expression of parent/child relationships. None of them are better or worse than the other, but all are exactly what holds your personal potential for expanded consciousness. Our children are capable now of reflecting the most subtle levels of our consciousness, because we were conscious enough to give birth to such DIVINE reflections of self and the planet as a whole was conscious enough to provide a playground for such a DIVINE exchange of energy.
Don't miss Suzy Miller's book Awesomism: A New Way to Understand the Diagnosis of Autism available from:
www.blustarbrilliance.com (copies through this website can be autographed) and for all Suzy's friends in the UK visit www.awesomism.net
© Suzy Miller, 2009
This article first appeared in Children of the New Earth Magazine www.childrenofthenewearth.com
Suzy Miller gifts as a visionary and healer were unveiled in 1999 through an amazing encounter with a young child diagnosed with autism. She is able to see various issues, conditions and situations with great clarity from a multidimensional perspective Susan’s own journey has given her many opportunities to see the interconnectedness of all things as well as how these various dimensional frequencies play into the unique dance of Oneness. She enjoys pushing the limits of what she has believed to be possible and challenging others to do the same.
In addition to working with individuals and groups, Susan has utilized her skills to bring awareness to the brilliant gifts inherent in various “handicapping conditions”. She also advocates for the advancement of children’s consciousness by bringing clarity to their unseen energetic gifts. Suzy is tremendously grateful for these gifts and enjoys sharing them across the United States, through private sessions, group healings, workshops and consultations. Past workshop titles include, The Energy of Autism, Advanced Energy Awareness, High Vibration Children/Parenting Workshop, Power of Positive Communication/Educator’s Workshop, and The Blessing of the Outer Landscape. Suzy also conducts group healings for organizations. For further information, contact Suzy on 480-329-2706 or at Bluestarsuzy@aol.com. Please also visit her website at www.bluestarbrilliance.com