Most of us believe that life contains messages for us in one form or another.  The message may come from current life situations or communicated from the Universe through various signs and synchronicities.

I’ve been reflecting on the nature of messages since recently visiting my close friend. When we were out together he would get really angry at other drivers on the road, and often for one reason or another he’d get really angry with me. 

I returned to California thinking about all I wanted to say to him, what I wanted to tell him about his reactions and how maybe it all wasn’t so bad and how this and how that. 

Yet, it seems whenever I fancy myself a teacher in life, I find myself demoted—or should I say promoted—to the role of student.  I had as much to learn from the way I was looking at the situations as he did.

I realized on closer inspection that I approach life’s “messages” from a fairly habitual response that grows out of my experiences and the ways in which I customarily view life. So when things aren’t working, perhaps it’s not that I’m taking the wrong actions on the message I’m getting, but that I’m following the wrong call. 

I may think the message is about trying harder when it’s really about self care.  I may think the message is about how to make a decision when it’s really about living with uncertainty.  I may think the message is about how to change him when it’s really about changing me.

There is a scene in an episode of the show Seinfeld where the character George is the target of a skit about how badly things go for him.  How, it was asked of him, do you know that any decision you make is the right one if your life is in such a mess? 

 “You know, George,” mused one of the ensemble—I think it was Elaine—“why do you even bother to trust yourself at all?“

“Why don’t you do the opposite of what you think you should do?” 

Ludicrous as this scenario might sound, there is a perverse wisdom contained in their logic. What’s to say the beneficial message might not even be the opposite of the one I’m inclined to see?

Do I generally tend to think I’m being slighted? Or too generous? Or too stingy? 

Maybe I have a tendency to think I’ve said too much. Or too little. Or that I surely must have done something wrong, although I’m not sure what it was.

It doesn’t have to be all or nothing, I tell myself at the point of discovery.  Even though I can trust myself, I can also have blind spots. There probably is a message; it just may not be the one I’m used to seeing.

NANCY KEELER is a writer, performing artist, and activist with a background in education and social services. Her debut album of multi-faceted country music is available on Amazon.com and features “Love’s a Prayer”,  recommended for inclusion in a collection for the Association of Unity Churches.