Nov / Dec 2003
Dear Louise by Louise Hay

Dear Louise,  My parents had quite a bad relationship, mainly because my dad’s family didn’t get along with my mom, and my dad always took their side. Now I notice similar feelings with my boyfriend and his family. We’ve been in a lovely, true-love relationship for seven years now. It happens that he’s very close to his family, and although he’s done many great things for me, I feel that his family members count more than I do, and he will not stand against them.

Please tell me how I can change this pattern in this relationship or future ones, and be in one in which my mate’s family members are not interfering. I would like to feel that I’m the most important thing to my partner.
––M.E., Copenhagen, Denmark

Dear M.E., It’s time to forgive your father. It’s the only way for you to become free. Sons usually marry people who are like their mothers, and daughters usually fall in love with people who are like their fathers. If there are unforgiven issues between them, then it’s hard to break free of the parents’ marriage patterns. So forgive dad, release all blame, and then begin to use these affirmations: I now release the past. I am not my father, or my mother. I am my own true self, and I have the freedom to create a new life for myself. I am lovable and loving. Everyone I know loves and respects me. I respect and honor myself. My love life is nurturing and supportive. I choose to think loving thoughts, and life shows me how loved I am. All is well in my world.

Dear Louise, Because of a difficult childhood filled with mental abuse and a lack of protection, I seem to have overprotected my son (age ten). Since he was about seven, he has put on a lot of weight and has developed allergies and asthma. A lot of things happened in his life before that (I divorced his father, remarried, moved, and just had another son). I’m also a “hysterical” mom. I believe bad things will happen to my boys every day. I really want my older son to feel better about himself. What can I do to stop overprotecting him and his new brother?
––H.G., Toronto, Canada

Dear H.G., Begin by protecting yourself. You’re now the parent of your inner child and have the opportunity to treat yourself as you wanted your parents to treat you. The fear you have for your children is really fear for your own inner child. I know this is hard, but begin to understand that your parents did the best they could, according to their own upbringing and level of knowledge and wisdom. Forgiving them is the first step to creating your own inner peace.

You say you’re a hysterical mother––this is because you don’t trust life. In spite of your early childhood, you’ve grown up and survived. Now you want to make a better life for your family. This can only begin with you. Moment by moment, you can choose to think a thought that makes you feel good. Your emotions are your inner guidance system. When you feel bad, you’re off track. Life will protect your children if you’ll just begin to relax and have some fun. Learn to think only good thoughts about your husband, your children, and most of all, about yourself. Breathe deeply a lot. It will calm your mind. Affirm: I am learning to trust life and to enjoy all the good I have.

You can do it. When you really practice, you can change your whole family in just one month. All is really well.

Dear Louise, I’ve been told that my body is lactose intolerant, meaning that I can’t have milk or other dairy products. I thought it was important for a person to have milk every day. What can I do to change this condition in my body? ––A.G., San Diego, CA

Dear A.G. Many, many people are lactose intolerant because cow’s milk is really not good for our bodies. It’s the dairy industry that promotes the idea that milk is a must. It certainly is not. I haven’t drunk milk in over 50 years, and I eat very little dairy products of any kind. Being lactose intolerant is not a disease or even a “problem” unless you decide to make it so. It’s your body’s way of communicating its needs to you. This is not a bad thing.

Contrary to popular myth, we’re not created to consume milk, especially cow’s milk, as we move into our adult years. If you’re concerned about calcium, green leafy vegetables contain much more calcium than milk. So eat lots of greens! If you must have a milk beverage, then drink goat’s milk, or rice milk, or soy milk. All are much healthier, and available at your local health-food store. Consider yourself blessed, and thank your body for how it’s serving you
 

Above all, don’t feel deprived. That is only a thought, and a thought can be changed. What you may need to focus on at this point is your acceptance and appreciation of your perfect body and all its messages. An affirmation for you to use is: I love, accept, and appreciate my perfect body. I experience peace and balance on all levels!

Now you can learn tips on how to heal every aspect of your life—directly from Louise—by subscribing to the new Louise Hay Newsletter! Call for a Free Premier Issue today: (800) 654-5126, or fax (800) 650-5115. Don’t forget to ask for a free catalog of books, audios, videos, and other products by Louise Hay and other Hay House authors! To have your letter answered in this publication, send it to: Dear Louise Column, c/o Hay House, Inc., P.O. Box 5100, Carlsbad, CA 92018-5100, or e-mail your letter to: admin@hayhouse.com. website: http://www.hayhouse.com.