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Physical and Emotional abuse runs through this country like the air we breathe. It has become a part of every aspect of the life we all live. We believe the way we speak to one another and the way we treat one another is normal, because that was the way we were raised. We do not seem to know where the line is between abuse and punishment, or abuse and kidding around. With so many people in this world not recognizing their own problems and how deeply those problems are ingrained within us, it becomes a viscous cycle––moving from one person to the next––and snowballs, until it explodes or until that one person comes along and says “The Abuse Stops Here”. That is where I am now.

Looking back, I can see the chain of abuse that runs through my family. Verbal, physical, emotional, sexual, alcoholism, it is all there. No one seems to look at themselves to work through their problems. They will blame a situation or another person for their problems. They don’t realize that we need to take responsibility for ourselves. I can see this in my family clearly, for one simple reason––because that was me!

Being raised in an abusive home with family members around who were abusive in their own ways, how could I not have been taught to be an abuser? I would beat my siblings and my pets. My mouth was just as hurtful as my fists. I believed that controlling a situation or a person would bring me happiness. I also allowed relationships in my life that were emotionally and verbally abusive.

Growing up in fear, because of my fathers temper, I was continuously nervous. There was so much yelling and fighting, I really believed that’s what life was about. You never knew what was going to trigger him. Because of his needing to control what he wanted, when he wanted, and how he wanted it. There were times when he would lose his temper and hit me, asking me “Why are you making me do this?” and “Don’t you know how much I love you?” Talk about growing up being confused.

For the past four years, I have worked on healing many issues in my life. Part of my healing was to make a choice to set my intentions to release control and enhance my awareness. In doing so, opportunities have been presented to assist me in seeing myself through situations and interactions with people. I became aware of what triggered me and what I needed to do to heal. The situations and people that we allow in our lives are mirrors of ourselves. When we have worked through our issues, we no longer need these mirrors and therefore, those people and situations no longer work for us.

While writing this article, I have come to see there are so many types of abuse that are not always recognized, such as lying, cheating, being in fear and being controlled. In the past month, I have found that fear and control are the main reasons for all abuse that happens in this world. However, we never see fear and control as abuse. If you could take a step back and look at yourself honestly, I know you would find places in your life where fear and control has created some sort of abuse towards yourself or others. As we learn to heal these issues we will become kinder to ourselves and to others. That is when we can stop abuse from continuing on in this world.

Cheryl Meehan is a motivational speaker and energy facilitator (Reiki Master, Jin Shin Jyutsu Practitioner, Certified Quantum Touch) currently living in Sedona, Az. She can be reached at 928-204-9573 or through her website at www.healfromtheheart.com to coordinate speaking engagements or schedule healing sessions. She is a member of The Earth Mother Father Foundation.