We all know relationships can be complicated. We’ve all had moments when we asked ourselves if it’s worth staying in a relationship, or is it better to walk away when circumstances are too difficult and emotional communication is at zero. During these times, if we are able to step back, we can recognize a classic “growth opportunity”––regardless of our current feelings. It helps to remember that we constantly learn from our partners, even when we resist it. Everyday we confront each other’s egos and the Male/Female perspective.

If we are challenged in relationship, a good question to ask is how often do we let down our defenses and show vulnerability? Are we crystal clear in our desires and needs with our partner? Or do we hint around, hoping they will guess correctly? Being clear with someone means being clear with you, first. Be your own best friend. If you don’t take care of yourself, others won’t take care of you either. For example, if you’re hungry, first say you’re hungry, and then say what you’ll eat. You’ll get more respect if you show clear boundaries and take care of yourself. What you give to yourself, others will give to you. If you treat yourself badly, others will too.

True partnership intimates growth. Karmically speaking, it’s often easier to be with a lover, than a partner. There are more lessons and growth opportunities with a partner, or potential partner. Not everyone chooses to be with a partner; some choose the safe and easier path and are content. However, when your soul aches terribly to be with a certain person, watch out, you’ll have some growing to do! This “pull” usually indicates partnership material or some kind of karma that needs to be worked out with this soul.

Partnership helps us examine our habits and beliefs. People see each other through their belief systems. There’s nowhere to hide from this, and you can be sure “growth opportunities” will emerge at the most inconvenient moment! Do you sweep it under the rug? Hardly. The discontent will simmer until it boils and you’re forced to face the issue. Humor comes in handy at this point. Unfortunately, the situation usually becomes humorous in hindsight, after the drama, but if we’re able to look at ourselves and be honest about what we bring to the mix, we can lighten the energy a bit. Awareness is the first step toward healing.

The next step is to do something about the root cause of the problem. Once the habit, fear, pattern, belief or judgment is discovered (it would be nice if both partners did this dance of discovery) we can start “processing” it out of our consciousness and energy bodies. There are many transformative techniques that can be utilized––simply find one or two that resonate with you, and start working! And yes, partnership takes work. Sometimes the most difficult relationships hold the greatest reward, on many levels. But it’s worth it, right? At least you thought so when you made the soul contract!
© Copyright 2004 Christine A. Loter


CHRISTINE A. LOTER, Board certified and registered Hypnotherapist and clairvoyant intuitive counselor has an extensive background in healing, metaphysics and paranormal research. She works by phone or in-person to remove and rework obstacles and blocks to a client’s life purpose, awareness, healing journey and self-empowerment. 805-560-0480 Santa Barbara. E-mail: christineloter@aol.com