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Do you know what it’s like to be born with a condition no one has a name for? Did your body ever shake itself violently and have you ever made noises and/or yelled out obscenities without knowing why? Or have you ever experienced people staring at you or watched them do anything and everything they could to get away from you as fast as they coul? Did you ever wonder when you were growing up why God hates you? More importantly, have you ever lived, day after day, wondering if you are going to die, because no one knows what it is wrong with you? I do! I have!

I was born with a neurological disorder called Tourette Syndrome. Tourette Syndrome (TS) is a disorder where involuntary body movements (tics or twitches), noises, and/or screaming out obscenities occur. My symptoms were not noticed until age 5. Through the next 8 years I went to many doctors who had never seen anything like it. They had many excuses why they thought I was shaking, but they truly did not know. During my school years I was pulled out of many classes because I would distract the class with my head jerking, my arms and hands flailing and my voice hitting some high pitch note that you didn’t think anyone could hit. And the stress of tests would make it worse. Kids would laugh, mimic me, call me names and make fun. At the time, my mother believed I was doing this for attention.

One day my stepmother saw an ad in a magazine that said “Does your child jerk their head, fling there arms uncontrollably, and scream out noises, maybe he/she has Tourette Syndrome.” We contacted the doctor and set up an appointment. Finally, after 13 years, it had a name. The doctor put me on many types of medications throughout the next 5 years. Unfortunately, these medications did not decrease the symptoms and even caused additional side effects. I would have sleepless nights, weight gain that caused me to go from 120 lbs to 145 lbs, increased appetite, dry mouth, and depending on the medication, would either speed up the tics or caused the tics to be drawn out, which were more exhausting than the quick jerks. People continued to stare, kids continued to make fun and I was still being pulled out of class.

Finally, as I was approaching my 18th birthday, I came to the realization that I would be able to make my own decisions and run my life the way I saw fit. I made a choice to wean myself off the medications, with my doctors assistance. I was tired of this thing controlling my life and I was determined to do something about it. I set my intentions that I was going to control this no matter what it took. I certainly did not know what it was going to take, but I knew I was going to have the life I always wanted. For the next 17 years I worked on the person I was. I changed the things I truly did not like about myself, building my self-confidence and self-respect, released a lot of anger and fears, and worked at releasing my anger and hatred towards God. I am proud to say that by the time I was 35 my tics decreased by 30%. However, it was not enough.

One day I was sitting in my living room thinking about the challenges I had overcome in my life and wondering why the TS was not gone. The only answer I was able to come up with was “because a doctor told me I couldn’t heal it“. From that point on, I set my intention to completely release this belief and trusted the universe would bring to me the opportunities to help me along my healing path. That is exactly what has happened for the past 5 years. People and events have presented themselves to me, which have helped me heal further––herbalists, healers, friends and situations that would push my buttons so that I could see where in my life I needed to work on myself.

The more I released or changed the things (thought patterns, beliefs, food, behavior patterns) that didn’t serve me, the healthier I got. No one thing helped. I needed to make changes in all areas of my life. I discovered it is critical to have balance in every area of my life, to heal and stay healthy. I balance my life with exercise and rest, food that works for me, the right herbs (they change depending on what I am experiencing), handling stress in a calm and centered way, only allowing the people in my life that love and respect me, and releasing those who hurt me, even if it would seem logical to continue with them. I also continue my inner exploration to increase and release or heal my limiting beliefs and old emotions that no longer fit who I am today.

I am an example of what determination, intention, hard work, and effort can do to help yourself heal. I am proud to say as I am writing this article, that I am 40 years of age and I have healed 95% of the symptoms. I will not give up until the TS is completely released.

Do you want to heal? If so, what are you willing to do? Aren’t YOU worth it?

Cheryl Meehan is a motivational speaker and energy facilitator (Reiki Master, Jin Shin Jyutsu Practitioner, Certified Quantum Touch) currently living in Sedona, Az. She can be reached at 928-204-9573 or through her website at www.healfromtheheart.com to coordinate speaking engagements or schedule healing sessions. She is a member of The Earth Mother Father Foundation.