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Louise L. Hay is a metaphysical teacher and the author of 20 books, including: You Can Heal Your Life, Empowering Women, and Life! Heal Your Body A-Z. Since beginning her career as a Science of Mind minister in 1981, she has assisted thousands of people in discovering and using the full potential of their own creative powers for personal growth and self-healing.Louise's works have been translated into 25 different languages in 33 countries throughout the world.

Dear Louise:

I would like to know, please, if I affirm constantly that I’m willing to release the past and forgive (and I am!), how will I know that deep-seated damage is disappearing or gone? And do I need to do anything else, or will the affirmations and directing of my conscious thoughts work on their own? Thank you for your help. — A.J., Toronto, Canada

Dear A.J.,
There are two ways you will know when you’ve finally released an old pattern. One is when you no longer feel resentment when you think of the old incidents and those involved. You’ll see it was just part of your learning process in this lifetime. You talk about “deep-seated damage.” Remember, it’s your reaction to deep-seated damage that is more important than the damage itself.

The second way to know when you’ve released an old pattern is when an issue from the past comes up and you react to it in a totally different way. Let’s say that one of your issues is a critical mother. After a period of doing your forgiveness/releasing affirmation, she calls and begins the criticism routine again, and instead of reacting as you used to, you either laugh or say to yourself, “It may be true for you, but it’s not true for me.” And then do a positive affirmation for yourself: I know I am a wonderful person, loved by life. All is well in my world!

Dear Louise, I’m 23 years old, and I have a problem with my left ear. The eustachian tube doesn’t close properly, and as a result, I hear my voice reverberate when I talk. Even my breathing is loud. I can’t bear to talk, which deeply upsets me because I am, by nature, a sociable person. I want to speak, but with this disability it’s too stressful for me.
The doctors have tried operating and have told me this is an incurable condition. This has gone on for years now, and it’s wearing me down. I don’t know if I need to continue searching for the reason why I created this, or to accept it and try to just be myself.
Perhaps my lesson is to learn to live with this? I hope you can give me an answer. ––F.A., Great Britain

Dear F.A., When did this ear condition start? What was going on in your life at the time? Have you had this since birth? Ears represent the willingness and ability to hear, especially to hear with love. In your case, it also has to do with speaking with love. I would suggest that you use these affirmations by saying them out loud whenever possible: I am comfortable with my ear. I bless my ear with love. I love the sound of my voice. I am comfortable with my voice. All the sounds I make are pleasurable to me. I believe in miracles. My ear is in the process of healing. All is well with both of my ears.

Dear Louise,
You say in your books and tapes that love is the answer, but when a person is suffering, it’s very hard to know what to do. I have no luck with men. As soon as I start to like someone a lot, they leave me. I know you say thoughts can be changed, but what about feelings? I have this feeling that I don’t want anyone bothering me, but my conscious mind wants a man in my life to stay, so I’m always alone, fighting my emotions. What do I do to change? –– R.M. Los Angeles

Dear R.M.,
You’re looking for fulfillment outside of yourself. Before you can build a healthy relationship with a man, you need to build a healthy relationship with yourself. Love is the answer, and that love begins with you. When you’ve learned to love who you are, then you’ll attract men who appreciate you and want to be with you.

What do you need to forgive your father for? Men in your life probably treat you as your father did. One or two counseling sessions could help you to forgive your father, and this would change the way you relate to men. Just because there’s no man in your life doesn’t mean you have to “suffer.” Don’t do that to yourself. Think happy, joyous thoughts and Life will bring you happy, joyous experiences.
Affirm: I love myself, and I choose to make myself happy!

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