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I Exerpted from: Everit’s Secret: What I learned from the World’s Richest Man. On our way out of the airport parking lot, Mr. Everit and I found ourselves in a slow-moving line to pay the toll. I began to feel impatient. What was the big holdup? Finally at the tollbooth we found a handsome olive-skinned Italian man with thick white hair. As he handed us our change, he burst into several rousing verses from La Traviata. At first I thought he was a kook, but as he belted out the chorus, I recognized a spark in his eye. He was enjoying himself immensely and he wasn’t a bad singer, either. When the toll man finished his performance, Mr. Everit and I smiled and applauded. As we exited onto the state highway, Mr. Everit asked me, “Do you know that most people believe a Toll collector is the most boring job in the world?” He always seemed to have the facts he needed at his fingertips. Did he make them up, too? “Do you think that toll collector back there was bored?” he asked me. “Certainly not,” I chuckled. “He was having a grand time.” “‘Take what you have and make what you want,’” Mr. Everit stated. “It’s the secret of happiness. Only a handful of people realize it. You just saw a living demonstration.” “That toll collector?” I asked, skeptical. “That man had supposedly ‘the most boring job in the world’ and he was in heaven! A few hundred yards away, thousands of people with more money and mobility are scurrying, hurrying, and worrying. That man, in his tiny cubicle, refused to be stifled by his conditions. He took a dreary tollbooth in the thick of impatient drivers and exhaust fumes, and turned it into an opera hall. I call that alchemy at its finest.” I looked back at the tollbooth, now just a dot in the distance. There was still a line of cars waiting for their surprise concert. My face squeezed into a question mark. “Do you think it’s possible to do that with any job?” “There are two ways you can change your life,” he answered. “You can change your conditions or you can change your mind. Your mind is more crucial because it’s the one thing you always have the power to direct. Clever people find ways to shine right where they are.” “Does that mean we’re supposed to stay in boring jobs or dead-end marriages?” I asked. “Not at all,” he shook his head. “It just means you’re not supposed to settle for less than what you really want.” “So what do you do if you are stuck in some gnarly situation and can’t get out?” “You find ways to take care of yourself. I know a woman who was married for a long time to a nasty guy. When she asked him for a divorce, he refused. She decided if she had to stay, she would give herself the love she had been missing from him. Every day she wrote herself a love letter, like ‘Dear Georgia, You are a beautiful, wise, precious, sensual goddess. I love you with all my heart and cherish you always.’ And on and on like that, for weeks. One day her husband found one of the letters. Since it was unsigned, he assumed it was from another man. He waved the letter in her face and told her, ‘I can’t compete with this . . . You can have your divorce!’” “That woman literally loved herself out of a bad marriage,” he added. “When she began to source her own happiness, everything around her followed. Upgrading your life is an inside job. If you make cosmetic changes only, you’re just rearranging chairs on the deck of a sinking ship.” What I learned from Mr. Everit: • I can make anything out of anything. • If I can’t change a situation, I can reframe it in my mind so it feels better. • No single person or company is the source of my good. My source is infinite, and can find me in ways I haven’t even thought of. Other stuff he said: • When the defining moment comes along, you define the moment or the moment defines you. (From the movie Tin Cup) • Struggle to get, struggle to keep. • For a web begun, God provides the thread. (Inscribed on the ceiling of the U.S. Library of Congress.)
What I did: • Put pictures of my favorite people and scenes on the walls of my office. • Wrote a love letter to myself. (At least I have one fan.) • Wrote a letter to my real dad, wherever he is in the universe, and hoped he would hear my thoughts.
Books by Alan Cohen: The Messenger Website Copyright © 2005 The Messenger - All rights reserved |
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Take What You Have &