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I believe lovemaking has the highest potential of any experience two people can have on the physical plane – a total merging of body, mind, and spirit with another. Unfortunately for most of us, even when we have a partner, our experience doesnÕt usually meet the potential. IÕd like to take a look at why that ultimate experience is so elusive and what we can do to give ourselves a better chance of having it.

I perceive life as energy flow in a body. This energy is part of our soul manifesting into the physical. To some degree, we all have areas of our bodies where the energy is not flowing. When energy doesnÕt flow, our experience of life is empty, lonely, and painful. And when the energy doesnÕt flow in a particular area of our body for a long enough period of time we get depressed and diseased. Eastern esoteric philosophy mapped out these energy flows in the body into seven crucial areas called chakras. The root chakra location starts at the base of the spine and the crown chakra is at the top of the skull. Each chakra corresponds to a certain quality in our lives and when the energy is flowing in a particular chakra, the quality of that chakra is activated successfully. And when all the chakras are energetically activated, one is in complete balance with the flow of life.

The approximate locations of the seven chakras and the areas of our lives, which they impact, are listed below:
o Root chakra – Base of spine...relates to our connection with the earth and self preservation-Raw sexual and creative energy.
o Sex chakra – mid-way between belly button and pubic bone...pertains to how we feel about and see ourselves as female or male.
o Solar plexus chakra – center, under ribs...relates to personal power, will, autonomy.
o Heart chakra – relates to compassion and empathy.
o Throat chakra –Throat...relates to communi-cation and self expression.
o Forehead chakra – the third eye. Intuition and precognitive psychic ability.
o Crown chakra – connection with the etheric field interconnecting all life.

In those areas, as defined by the chakras, where the life energy is weak, the qualities described above associated with the specific chakra will not be developed or will operate deficiently. When we associate with another who has the energy flowing in an area where we are blocked we have the opportunity to pick up their energy empathetically and balance our own energy where we lack. As we go through our day, we are constantly interacting energetically with other beings and sharing these chakra energies. In Eastern Hinduism, this interaction and balancing of life energy is called tantra.

Close personal relationships impact chakra balancing the most profoundly and sex has the most immediate and dramatic effect on our energy flows. In an ideal interaction, two lovers can bring their entire chakra system into total balance leaving one in a total state of bliss and balance. Unfortunately most people donÕt reach this level. There are an infinite number of possibilities of energetic interchanges in an intimate encounter and I would like to enumerate some of the ways we limit our potential for a full experience. Next month, I will give some suggestions of ways to turn the sexual experience around to have the beautiful intimate connection we crave.

In the areas where energy is not flowing in our energetic system, we feel need. The need drives us to look for another to balance the need. We all have the inner ancient memory that it is possible to balance this need, via the close interaction with another being. And so, two people approach each other with the idea of a sexual interchange to balance their "need". Often the need is not in the same area. For example if a man has an energetic imbalance in the area of his 1st chakra – sex, and the woman has en energetic imbalance in the area of her 4th chakra – love and compassion, itÕs obvious the misunderstandings which can occur as each person tries to balance their area of need with the other. And since each person is completely unique there are an infinite number of possibilities here. And to make matters even more difficult, most of us are conditioned to never show weakness, so we must approach the other person as if we didnÕt have any need. We are also conditioned to judge anotherÕs weakness, so when we perceive their need, we find fault with them. So you can see the dilemma. We want to have our area of need balanced by another, on one hand, but we canÕt show our own weakness and we judge their area of weakness. And from this origination we expect to find romance, experience great sex, get in balance, and have a great relationship. ItÕs no wonder so many relationships fail. If this sounds like a familiar cycle to you, be sure and pick up JanuaryÕs issue where IÕll reveal some of the ways IÕve learned to turn this around.