January 2002	Wings of Light Healing Center
Year of Miracles by Carolyn Kaufman

In my own experiences this last year, I felt like I was riding an extreme roller coaster ride. One minute I felt like I was on top of the world, the next I was wondering where and who I was? As someone recently put it so well, I was experiencing many cases of the "Brave-Girl, Chicken-Girl" syndrome. From my own understanding, this is where one day you are walking forth fearlessly, feeling so connected and clear...only to wake up the next day wondering who is this imposter you are looking at in the mirror!! There were periods when I felt very intense emotions, and wondered why all this garbage I thought I had worked through, was showing itself in full force? I found myself questioning how I could continue teaching the classes I was teaching and the sessions I had scheduled. Who was I to help guide anyone else, when I felt lost myself?

Thank goodness the guidance continued to come in strong. It urged me to continue with all that I was doing, and more. It asked me to have more faith than I thought I could have. I was guided to not judge what I was experiencing or give it my focus, but instead be aware of it and share it. I was asked to allow myself to feel and express all I was experiencing. Very clearly I was shown this was an important time of clearing and integrating the old with the new, even down to very physical levels. That is why I felt so much discomfort at times. It helped me to continue through this period, knowing that this was releasing and healing a great deal from my past. I was able to feel such relief once I was reminded that I was not going back to my old patterns. Instead, I was actually making great progress in shifting and releasing them. Now I am able to look back at this period with great humor and wisdom.

I am now able to see how, even more, I can help others from this experience. That is one of the important keys of which I am guided to remind you.

To remember there is always a reason why we are experiencing what we are experiencing. Another reminder is to keep the faith, when we least feel it...and continue to ask for help, when we do not feel it. And we can help others so much by simply sharing what we are going through. It is also a reminder of letting go of the expectations of how our prayers our to be answered, and instead, open ourselves to be aware of all the miracles going on around us.

There is a wonderful poem I came across many years ago, (I am unsure of who is the Author) the words are amazing and true:

Many of us lose confidence in prayer because we do not realize the answer.
We ask for strength and God gives us
difficulties which make us strong.
We pray for wisdom and God sends us problems, the solution of which develops wisdom.
We plead for prosperity and God gives us brain and brawn with which to work.
We plead for courage and God gives us dangers to overcome.
We ask for favors and God gives us opportunities.

This poem has always helped me to remember to widen my view and be aware of all the gifts and miracles in my life. It helps me to see how every experience and every moment is an opportunity to learn and grow, if I choose to acknowledge it. It is also a reminder to me to take back my power and/or responsibilities that I may have given away to anyone or anything else.

Now, as I am going down the hill of my roller coaster ride, I can see very clearly that last year was a gift of clearing away of the old and a preparation for the new!! As I allowed myself to fully feel and express all I was experiencing, I was awakened to many patterns I was still clinging to...which no longer served me. I was able to then make sense of so many events and experiences of my life and see clearly how and why I was continuing to draw similar events, people and experiences to my life. Now I can choose differently.

I remain fully enjoying the moment as I await and flow with the powerful shifts and swirls of energy guiding us forward in this New Year of Miracles. I can feel the excitement bubbling up within, as I open up to and accept my true essence and power. And I make the intent to flow forward fearlessly and live the life of my dreams. I look forward in awe to the next steps of this amazing and magical journey that I have contracted to be here for at this time on Earth. And I look forward to each and every moment I have to share with all of you!!

May you have a year full of love, truth, happiness and Miracles!

Carolyn Kaufman, CSC

Carolyn Kaufman, CSC • Rudy Carreno, CSC • Melinda Rodriguez, CSC

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